Part of my heart went to preschool for the first time this morning.
We have our ups and downs, this little part of my heart and I, but she absolutely means the world to me and now she's not here. I just keep reminding myself that the whole reason for her starting preschool now is to gain independence.
Almost every class, activity or outing Big Sister E has ever done has been with me, so this is our first experience where she gets dropped off somewhere (other than, say, Grandma's house) and has to fend for herself. I know she's going to have a great time and learn all sorts of new things, but I can't help thinking how strange it is that I can't see exactly what it is that she is doing while she's there.
I put on an overly happy, very excited face all morning as we got ready to leave and it seemed to keep her from realizing how nervous I was for her. Inside, it's hard letting go of some of my protective nature and possessiveness. That's my girl. My firstborn. My easygoing baby, my cautious toddler, my imaginative preschooler. That's my gentle, loving daughter.
My heart. I miss you already, E.